164 Square Feet of Sugar-Coated Chaos

The idea of the Tiny House is great and all. 

Aww look at it. It's so cute!

Cool! I'd love to eat there!

I want one!

I can't even handle this level of adorbs and awesomesauce!

"The whole thing costs $4000"

"Property taxes are $12 a year!"

"Its carbon footprint is smaller than a Toyota Pruis’s!"

"You’ll always keep it clean or else you won’t have room to walk."

And yes, I agree that in theory, the whole thing is just… fucking fantastic… These homes look way awesome. They're just too cool for words. However, I thought about this, and here is why I could never NEVER EVER live in a Tiny House…

Simplicity = Tranquility?
Call me a pitbull in a China Shop, but 4-5 days a week 7-8 days a week… I like to come in from wherever I've been, throw my crap on the coffee table, put on some old skool Blink 182, make myself a cup of tea, and dance like an idiot with an actual pitbull in my living room.
If I did this in a Tiny House… I’d break it. Fuck Tranquility. I find stress management in becoming a one woman mosh-pit.

I made this. You may share it if you like.

♥ Cozy and romantic on cold nights ♥

I’m single at the moment, but in the event that I was in a committed relationship, I would likely end up living with the person at some point down the line. Although, I don’t care how crazy I am about someone, I will never want to spend all my home time in the same room as him!
Omg… GO AWAY! Go make something. I'm writing, stop talking to me. Stop looking at me. You smell. Go wash your stanky ass in the 1 square meter shower-toilet room! GO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE FOR YOURSELF OR FOR SOCIETY! Augh!!
Cozy and romantic is one thing… but this is real life.

So efficient! Everything has a place.
Yup. So does all the crap in my 500 square foot garage.
I'm sorry... that sounds bitchy and insensitive. Wait... no I'm not. 

But it's so easy to keep organized!

Everything is easy to keep organized... while it's still organized. I organized my closet from top to bottom last weekend. It was perfect. I thought to myself "There's no way I'll ever let it get as messy as it was before. This is simple, mindless, organization. A 2 year old could keep this clean now."

My closet today. This is pretty much exactly how it looked before I organized it 11 days ago. I shudder to think how my tiny house would look.

You’ll want to go outside more often.
I like to be outside. Outside is my favorite place in the world. You know what else I like?
•Not being outside when it’s snowing balls and -1°F outside.
•Sitting on my ass and eating copious amounts of junk food spread out on my double-decker coffee table when I'm ragging and I hate everyone. Leaving my junk food mess until the next morning.
•Making a huge happy mess in my spacious kitchen when I have house guests in town who want to go hiking and I decide to make them bacon, eggs, sweet potato hash with green peppers, red peppers, yellow peppers, orange peppers, and ham, chocolate chip banana walnut breakfast bread, fresh squeezed OJ, hot tea, coffee, and ice cold Brita water. This is all BEFORE we head to the mountains to engage in fantastical outdoor adventures. No one in history has ever had a fun filled day of wilderness adventures without a good breakfast. Everyone knows that.

Aww, but look how cute it is!
Those guys are as big as their house...